7 funniest Russell Peters Quotes that will make you laugh


Russell Peters is an established named when it comes to stand up comedy. He is known as one of the most successful comedians today. Few years back, he was the first stand-up comedian to have performed in front of a houseful Air Canada Centre, with over 30,000 fans present. Having won several awards, Russell Peters is the funniest comedian around with a huge fan-following. We bring you some of his funniest jokes he cracked while doing stand-ups.

  • · Just for the record my Arab friends, I don’t do any Arab jokes in my act. It’s not that i don’t think you are funny. It's just.. I don’t know, I don’t wanna..... die?
  • ·         I knew she was Nigerian because every time she looked at me and was like "I don't know what to order" Well look at the menu!
  • ·         I have to go to this mall in Beijing to buy some clothes. I didn’t know this until I got there, but apparently in China I’m Shaquille O’Neal. I go to mall. I walk into the store. I’m like, “Hey, you got a 10.5/11 in those shoes?” “Ah no! How about an 8?” “How about I can’t negotiate my foot size with you?”
  • ·         Women are always thinking. Always. Their brains are continuously working. They are just thinking of shit all the time. Right now Vicky could be looking at the stage and thinking "I wonder what the stage is made out of. Is that microphone heavy? What if it’s a heavy microphone?"
  • ·         As a guy who grew up with Black people, I know the N-word is not specific to people. It’s a fucking noun. It is used for everything else but people. It’s not specific to black people. I see my friends. They’ll be like, “Yo Russell, I seen you with some Chinese niggers last night.”... My homeboy called me was like, “Yo, you gotta put on Discovery Channel, son They got this shit on killer whales. Yo, those niggers are crazy!” 
  • ·         Every group is racist. White folks will see a group of Indian people and they’re like, “Look at all those brown people; they’re probably all very happy together.” Then you get in that group and like, “Hey, you from India? I’m from India. What part? No, not that part. Go to hell you dirty bastard.” 
  • ·         Whenever they show Arabic being spoken on TV, it’s usually these crazy people in these protests in the Arab world and all of them speaking this really horrish Arabic *arab accent* "Khalikokhu kha.. la la la la la FUCK AMERICA!" 





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